DELHI - Starting in a bar in Minnesota in the 1970s, Cindie and Jim Smart, now of Delhi, built a strong, long-lasting marriage off the principles of loving, liking, respecting, and supporting one another throughout life and all of their adventures together. Strengthened by their passion for politics, love of travel and theatre, and unwaivering commitment to truly understand each other, the two have sustained a 55-year marriage with a lifetime of adventures and experiences to reflect on.
While in their early 20s, Jim had just returned to school after visiting Woodstock, and Cindie was visiting friends from the University of Minnesota.
Cindie, at the time, was so concentrated on school and working her way through college, “I just didn’t have time for relationships,” she said. Her attitude towards dating was, “No, absolutely stay away from me.”
That was until Jim, with long hair, a shirt unbuttoned down to his naval, love beads, and a headscarf, walked into the same Minnesota bar Cindie was at with her friends. The two were introduced by a mutual friend, and six months later, had a “hippie-style wedding,” complete with peace symbol rings purchased from a store called The Electric Fetus two days before the wedding.
“She has like 86 first cousins, and I have two,” Jim said. “So we didn’t invite any relatives except our parents and godparents. It was a big deal, hippie wedding.”
As a young couple brought together by an immediate connection, taking a chance on marriage after six months, the two had to learn who the other person really was. To them, falling in love was easy, but “falling in like” was the true testament to whether or not their marriage would last.
“We had to build the like because we didn’t know that much about each other,” Cindie said.
“As time went on, we learned to communicate, to listen and find common ground, and also learn to be tolerant,” Jim said.
The two are nearly identical in terms of their political views, share a passion for art, and an addiction to theater, laying the foundation for a strong relationship and real appreciation for who the other person is.
Later on in their marriage, both Jim and Cindie started their own businesses, with Cindie leaning into the legal world and Jim into design. While their careers were completely different, both Jim and Cindie made sure to always support one another in their endeavors, offering advice and bouncing ideas off each other for different perspectives.
“I don’t work well in a vacuum. I don’t think most designers would,” Jim said.
So, in order to gain a fresh perspective from someone whose opinion he valued, Jim would walk into a room full of lawyers working for Cindie to pick her brain on his ideas. The two were always working closely together - both figuratively and literally. In the beginning, Cindie’s workspace was in the basement of their home, and Jim’s workspace was in the house they purchased right next door.
As Cindie’s business expanded beyond her home, she moved into an office space, where her business occupied one side and Jim’s business operated on the other.
“So we were always together,” Jim said.
Throughout 55 years of marriage, Cindie and Jim agreed that their experiences traveling are some of their most fond memories, reflecting back on their time spent in Paris and London. While in Paris, Cindie would work and Jim would explore the city, scoping out the best restaurants to take Cindie to once she finished work for the day.
Traveling with others can be difficult, but Cindie and Jim both agreed they are “selfish travelers,” meaning they prefer to travel alone, with each other, and make the most of their trip while doing the things they most want to do.
While traveling and while home in Minnesota, the two had “great adventures” in developing not-for-profit theatre companies, hosting galas, and fundraising for the organizations. At one point, both Jim and Cindie served on 14 different not-for-profit boards at one time, he said, and raised $1 million for Children’s Heartlink - an organization that trains medical teams, advocates for children’s access to heart care, and helps children with heart disease get the critical medical care they need.
“For some reason, we were always the ones that were elected to put on the galas,” they said humorously.
While their careers started out completely different, the two shared a love for the social scene they found themselves immersed in, and became well-known together, as Jim and Cindie Smart. In addition to not-for-profit organizations, the two also worked on political campaigns, crossing paths and developing long-lasting relationships with many high-profile politicians.
To Cindie, the most important part of a strong, long-lasting relationship is not only falling in love, “but falling in like,” which Jim agreed with.
In his opinion, Jim believes it’s healthy to have “compassionate stubbornness” toward one another. “I think it’s okay to be stubborn on certain issues, but you also have to be compassionate enough to hear the other side.”
At their core, Jim and Cindie both believe their respect and compassion for each other, senses of humor and ability to have fun, and view of each other as an equal, has helped their marriage last.
“I also think it’s really wise if you marry somebody who knows how to cook really well,” Jim said humorously, as the main cook in their marriage.
