Sandra Kilpatrick Hendee passed away peacefully early Saturday morning, Feb. 19, in the home of her daughter, Joann Hendee Rasi, after a prolonged illness battling Alzheimer’s disease.
Sandra (Sandy) was born in Walton on March 23, 1936 to a young farming couple, William Herman and Margaret Gray Kilpatrick. The eldest of three daughters, Sandy was affectionately called “Red” by her Dad, who learned early on that she was as good as any hired hand working the hayfields and tending to their prized Holsteins on their side-hill farm of 100+ acres just outside the village.
As a young girl, Sandy participated in the local 4-H club, showed Holstein heifers annually at the Delaware County Fair and attended the United Presbyterian Church, becoming an accomplished alto in the church choir. She accepted Jesus Christ as her savior early on in her life. Her children recall fondly how she faced challenges proclaiming, “God put us here to test us daily and He wouldn’t give us anything we couldn’t overcome with faith.” She never wore religion on her sleeve – she lived her life confidently based on Christian values.
Sandy graduated from Walton High School in 1953, just missing the top 10% in her class. She often stated, “I would have made it except I took chemistry and geometry while some others took business or home economics classes that counted in their final GPA.” Her children, certainly aware of her intelligence and abilities, always had a good chuckle whenever they heard this accounting. Sandy enjoyed cheerleading, participating in girls’ intramural sports, bowling, and rifle club. She was a class officer, on student council and a member of the National Honor Society her junior and senior years. She was raised with a strong work ethic and a set of life standards to raise the bar.
Sandy attended Cortland State for physical education for a year, choosing love over career to marry her high school sweetheart, Jack Hendee. Together they had six children: Joann, Bill, Chuck, Barry, Laurie and Lynne. In time, Sandy married Tommy Laux of Stamford, and settled into village life. Later in life, she enjoyed her trips up and down the eastern seaboard with her partner, Bob Maines. She always chose love and respect to describe her relationships with the important partners in her life. Teaching old-school values and hard work to her children as a single parent was very important to Sandy. She insisted on manners and living life with a positive “can-do” attitude.
Not all love stories have happy endings, but the silver linings were many for Sandy. Out of necessity, her fierce maternal instincts kicked in early as an advocate for her children. It was time to go to work!
She worked as an AT&T operator and as a women’s retail salesperson at The Style Shop in Walton. In 1966 she moved her brood to Stamford, where she mastered her craft as server, bartender, and manager at The Red Carpet, Scotch Valley and The Ritz often working double shifts; and as entrepreneur, managing the concession operations at the Stamford Golf Club for several seasons in the late 60s and 70s, and at Archibald Field during seasonal sports. Some say she served the best burgers in town working out of a postage stamp-sized kitchen, but she also put on some of the classiest events at the Club in her era. Sandy also enjoyed working in the dental office of Dr. Lawrence Altman as a receptionist and assistant.
In her retirement years, she worked for ten years as the personal assistant and caretaker for dear friends in Northport, Long Island, and in 2011, Sandy purchased a beautiful home in Cape Coral, Fla. - at 75 years young. Here, she most recently enjoyed the company of her daughter, Joann, who also lives on the Cape, and the frequent visits of her children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews.
Sandy will be remembered for her gusto for life. Keeping up with the guys. Her insistence on doing a job to the best of your abilities. Her impeccable fashion sense. Her uncanny ability to find a good flea market buy. Her annual summer pilgrimage to Stamford to watch her sons play golf and reminisce with friends about the “good old days.” Her pride and advocacy for her children. Her “drop everything” inclination to help raise her grandchildren. And, for those who knew her best, her penchant for doing it “my way” with grace and style. And if you were lucky enough, you may have raised a glass to life with Sandy from time to time.
Sandy is survived by her adoring children, Joann Hendee Rasi, Bill Hendee, Chuck (Denise) Hendee, Barry (Mary) Hendee, Laurie Hendee Gillette, and Lynne Hendee; her grandchildren, Kimberly Lee Keyser, Margaret Hendee, Mitchell Hendee, Michelle Hendee, Gregory Hendee, Jennifer Hendee Shafer, Nicholas Hendee, Ashley Hendee Moore, Travis Gillette, Tyler Gillette, Jackson Hendee, Robert Key III, Cassandra Sanik, and Mackinaw Shutt; nieces Brenda Hafele Dwyer, Beth Johnston Eden and nephews Joseph Hafele and John Tompkins; eighteen great-grandchildren and several first cousins.
Sandy was predeceased by her parents, Herm and Margaret Kilpatrick, her sisters, Dianne Hafele and Myra Tompkins, her brothers-in-law Robert “Razz” Hafele and Samuel Tompkins Jr., and her nephews Randy Johnston and David Hafele.
The family is planning a Celebration of Life ceremony and reception this summer in Stamford.
In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to Hobart Presbyterian Church, PO Box 2057, Hobart, NY 13788; or Hope Hospice online at Hopehcs.org, and click on the donate button; or by check, Hope Hospice Donations, 9470 Healthpark Circle, Fort Myers, FL 33908.
Share condolences with Sandy’s family online at hendawgernaut@gmail.com.
